Hey guys, Jake here and I’ve heard that women have some questions for men that they’d like to ask. After polling our audience, here’s the most common questions they have for men and my answers to them.
Keep in mind: I’m not speaking on behalf of all male or male identifying folks. I’m speaking from my gut and spilling the beans from my perspective in hopes that this post will spark some courage for you to ask the men in your life these questions too.
It’s my hope that this sparks the conversations that you should be having in your relationship. Feel free to start the ball rolling with these Frequently Asked Questions for Men. (All the stuff you’d want to know!)
1) Seriously, what ARE you thinking about when I ask you? Is it really nothing?
- Honestly, nothing. I’m either zoned out or my mind is blank. Sometimes it could be random thoughts depending on where I am, what time of the day it is or if I’m hungry but most of the time it’s actually nothing.
2) What do you talk about with your friends?
- It depends. I find we have different types of friends and therefore we have different types of conversations. For example, I have a friend where all we talk about is sports. I have a group of long term friends where we reminisce on our past, talk about travelling and doing life. Then, I have that friend (or few friends) where we can actually talk about deep stuff and how fast we’re getting old. And no, we don’t really talk about you.
3) Why do men have the mindset that being in a long term relationship is the end of fun?
- I think men were raised with the idea that we could do anything and it doesn’t really have a consequence. (Awful, but true.) Being in a committed relationship, somebody else is there to call us out on our bad decisions and it may feel like it’s constricting. They hold boundaries and have consequences. Something, as men, we’re not generally used to. I also think society fuels this stereotype of relationships as limiting, when in truth, the best relationships enable you to be free. If this isn’t something you’re exposed to—cue the ball and chain.
4) What is going through your head when we’re annoyed with you?
- “Why are YOU so annoyed? What the hell did I do this time? I didn’t do it!”. And then, “Was it something I said? Did I not do something I was supposed to? Did I have attitude when I spoke?” Then finally, “She’s so cute. I can fix this!”
5) What does it feel like when you fall in love?
- It feels like our whole world just shrunk into a small space, which is ONLY taken up by our thoughts of the person that we’re in love with. Nothing else in the world matters. No one else’s text or calls matter, no one else’s plans matter, because all we’re thinking about is what that person is doing, thinking, feeling, and if they’re doing the same thing as we’re doing right then. Our hearts beat a little faster when we receive their text, or if she calls. It feels like everything in the world is so right, regardless of what mishaps may have happened that day, because the thought of her makes it all so much better. It feels like home.
6) Why do men ‘ghost’?
- Because we don’t want to face that uncomfortable situation. Whether it’s ending a relationship or anything really that requires us to show up and initiate a hard conversation. Many men don’t have the right tools to manage or communicate our emotions so we automatically use our instinct of “fight or flight” mode, which in this case is the “flight”. We run away from “scary” situations in hopes that it doesn’t find us so we don’t have to deal with it at all. And we don’t wanna hurt you. It feels, in that moment, the lesser of two evils. (So wrong, but so true.)
Alright, there you have it! Our Top 6 Frequently Asked Questions for Men.
That was fun! Whaddya think? Did we get it? Was there a question we missed? Let us know in the comments below or say, “Hi!” over on our instagram and we can keep the conversation going.