Alrighty friends, we’ve rounded up our latest 5 things you NEED to start doing to cultivate an exceptional relationship. Get ready, they’re good:
- Fact Checking
We got into this habit after the political climate went wild and it was SO helpful in our relationship. Y’know how we all tell ourselves stories about what’s happening, how we feel, what are partners are thinking, why things happened, and basically everything else? Well guess what, not all of those stories are true. (Heads up, they probably aren’t most of the time!) When you notice yourself connecting the dots quickly, pause and ask your partner to fact check the story for you. We like to start with, “Hey babe, the story I’m telling myself about….”. One that happened to us was…”The story that’s going on for you being late to our anniversary dinner is that you don’t love me anymore. Is this true?” (Get ready, the answers was golden and totally didn’t involve not loving the other—duh.)
- Learn your enneagram and leverage it
Your personality is one of your biggest parts. It’s so crucial to know your and understand your partners traits, habits, and histories. THEN learn how to leverage it together. Enneagram is a personality test we love. There’s a free test here. Take it and have your life change. Pro tip: Get comfortable calling out and complimenting when you see those traits pop out. Be gentle and use this information to in ways to improve your daily life and common issues. EG: Achiever and laid back? How could you leverage that? What would be common problems there? Make sense?
Money and finances are one of the MOST COMMON issues couples have conflict over. Do yourself (and your future self) a favour and budget. And no, that doesn’t mean just tracking your expenses. It means planning for future spends, emergencies, THINGS TO DO TOGETHER, and life. It means sitting down over dinner, or three, and sorting through income, accounts, debts, goals, and dreams. We’ve got some resources linked down below for you to get started. (We know how hard that can be, too).
- Putting your relationship first
Let’s get real—we don’t find the time. We MAKE the time. If being in a relationship is at all important to you, you have to prioritize that. Don’t be afraid to rain check or reschedule lesser priorities for the relationship that matters most to you. If marriage is one of your top priorities that means we carve out time for that in the calendar and it becomes a non-negotiable. We have to sacrifice things for our relationship, straight up. Being busy is a tough factor in relationships and we highly encourage you to MAKE time. Big or small. (See below for WHY that’s so important).
- Create Shared Experiences
You know those friends you had at summer camp that felt like you would never ever part? You’d been through EVERYTHING together and you’d always write? And then never heard from again? Why does that happen? It happens because of “Proximity Intimacy”. The intimacy shared from common experiences, daily connection, and physical space sharing. It’s amplified with feelings of vulnerability, huge changes, adrenaline, and joy. Knowing that, use it to your benefit! Plan shared experiences (bonus points if it’s something new that has you feeling a little risky or nervous) and watch the intimacy and connection grow. It can be as simple as walking the dog together or grocery shopping together! Trust us on this one. It’s possible and it’s worth it.
So? What do you think? Did we miss any? Let us know below with a comment and PLEASE—send this to someone. Cause chances are if you are reading this, you’re in a relationship and there’s a whole other half that needs to be up to speed, too. Send this to ‘em and thank us later.
Sending you love fam!
Budget APP: https://www.everydollar.com/app/sign-up/daveramsey?int_cmpgn=no_campaign&int_dept=everydollar_bu&int_lctn=Homepage-Buckets&int_fmt=button&int_dscpn=HP_Bucket_3_E%24_040218&_ga=2.241147971.154415116.1540592297-682056523.1536765532
Additional Resources: https://www.gailvazoxlade.com/resources.html