If you’ve been around here long enough you’ll know that we’re happy contributors to I Like Her Style Vancouver’s magazine. We love answering your questions over there (anonymously of course!) and dive into the topics you want to know about.
Our latest contribution was all around REALationship Redflags about YOU. Oh yeah, we went there.
Here’s a peek:
So we’re gonna cut right to it. Here’s the REAL stuff you need to be looking out for in your relationship that are signs that something’s up. And we’re not talking about the expected stuff, we’re talking about the sneaky things you never see coming. The things that are YOUR redflags. (Not theirs.) Get ready for some real questions coming your way.
1. You are itchy.
Itching to talk to others, to get away, to be free. That feeling of being stifled and restless is a big red flag that something needs looking into. Where are your needs being met and not? Have you been truthful with what you ask for? Have you forgotten to make yourself a priority? What about your future self 5 years, 10 years from now?
2. You second guess your decisions and asks to your partner.
We’re talking out of fear and worry. If you’re already judging yourself before even letting the words come out, there’s something there worth investigating. Why are you hesitating? Is it really time to process or time to silence? Do you feel worthy of these asks? (Hint: You are.)
3. You haven’t answered the real questions of “Who am I, Where am I going, and THEN Who do I want with me?” (In that order.)
Now, let us say–we missed this step entirely and then answered it backwards. If you did, too–that’s okay! Start now with the first one, take your time and work through. (It’s worth it.)
4. You get mad or withdraw from your partner and relationship more than you’d like to admit.
This is a sign that you’re being triggered by something and reacting to a situation that you feel threatens you on an emotional, physical, or spiritual level. What’s the reaction to? Why is it there? Is there something you’re not giving some TLC? Are there patterns you could be more aware of and changing?
5. You think you’ve got it all figured out.
Gulp–This is the biggest red flag. In relationships it’s a constant learning ground. About yourself, your partner, your relationship and also everything else that life throws your way. If you’re catching yourself thinking that you know how it all works, you’ve got all the answers and know best–we’re sorry to break it to you, but ya don’t. And we don’t either. When we think we’ve got it all figured out is when we close ourselves off to all that could be. (Hint: that’s usually where all the good stuff is!)
There you have it, our 5 REALationship Redflags all about YOU. What do you think? Are we on track here? Did we miss any? Let us know!
Do you have a REALationship Question you’d like us to answer next? Shoot us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com and come say, “Hey!” over on instagram at @relationshipproject! (We’ve got some local Vancouver events coming up, you don’t wanna miss out.)