If you’ve been around here long enough you’ll know that we’re happy contributors to I Like Her Style Vancouver’s magazine. We love answering your questions over there (anonymously of course!) and dive into the topics you want to know about.
Our latest contribution was all about social media and relationship breakups.
Here’s a peek:
“I am struggling from a breakup. I met my ex about 10 months ago from a dating app. However, things started to go sour all because of social media – Instagram. First, he sent me a post he thought was funny that his ex tagged him in. I tried to let it go although it bothered me. Ever since then, I would start checking who he liked on Instagram. This made me upset again. He was liking his ex’s photos a lot. It was like one after another. We started fighting ever since. Then, my friend saw him on that dating app we met on. I asked him and he said deleted it after he met me and doesn’t know how it’s still on. I was going to understand because it is technology, BUT the pictures he had put up were NEW pictures. Needless to say, things got sour and we just fought and ended it. I was very furious. He now completely ignores all my texts and emails. How do I move on from this?”
–Stuck On Socials
Thank you so much for reaching out, being vulnerable and sharing this story with us. You are not alone in having struggles around social media and relationships, sweet friend. In our eyes, it’s an epidemic. If we can be really frank here, social media doesn’t CAUSE problems, but MAGNIFIES issues that are already present. It sounds like this may have been the case here and you’ve had a hard time with this relationship. Now, we hear you saying you’re ready to move on (woop!) but it has been a struggle. So, we gotchu.
We hope you’re hanging in there and since you asked, here is our take:
1. Take a tech-detox. It seems like a lot of frustration and pain is coming from technology, apps and things of the like. (During the relationship and, if we could guess, most likely after?) Have you thought of unplugging for a while? Things work better after being unplugged–even us. And while unplugged…
2. Take a look at yourself in the situation. (Please don’t take this the wrong way!) Like we mentioned, social media magnifies what’s already there and we can only change or control ourselves. So, if we’re reacting to something, the first place to start asking questions, is not them, it’s us.
- Why is this triggering to me?
- Is there something deeper going on for me?
- What am I afraid is really going on?
- How am I contributing to this situation?
- What am I insecure about here?
- Where is my fear/anger/emotion coming from?
This deep digging will hopefully lead you to somewhere new. Because, sweet friend, you will find love again! When you do, we know you want to be in a new, healthier place. Only doing the work will getcha there and that work can start with those questions we listed. You’ve got this. Then, while still unplugged…
Continued in the link below!