What the heck is Masculine and Feminine Energy and what does it have to do with relationships?
Well, sweet friends, have no fear–we’ve got an expert here to introduce you to this topic and if your familiar with it we’ll be diving deep into how those energies can play into our relationships.
We’ve interviewed our sweet colorado friend and doer of all the things, Maddy, and she’s got the answers to these questions and more:
What the heck are Masculine and Feminine Energies?
What are common relationship struggles you’ve seen with energetic imbalances and how can we overcome them?
What about sex and these energies?
What’s one thing we could do right now to improve this area of our relationships?
Are you as excited as we are? Let’s get to it!
RP: We’re so glad to have you with us, Maddy! To start, can you tell us a bit about you, how you serve, and your experiences?
M: Thanks so much for having me! My name is Maddy Moon and I’m a Transformational Life Coach, author, speaker, podcast host and retreat leader. I help masculine-minded, perfectionist women step into their feminine flow so they can live with more ease and trust.
Many women who come to me feel that they must earn their worth or love from others through body image, perfection or work ethic; my mission is to help them realize they are loved for who they are and not what they do. I’ve had years of experience trying to do more, be more and accomplish more (both with work ethic and with physical perfection) only to come to the conclusion that I already am everything I’m supposed to be. My goal is to help others find their own place of peace, self-love and flow.
RP: We’re so excited to have you here today to introduce the Masculine and Feminine to our audience! Let’s begin with the basics, can you give us a run down of what “Feminine and Masculine” means?
M: These two energies make up everything that you are today.
To break it down, the Feminine energy includes the pulling in of life. It’s magnetism, creativity, vulnerability, community, listening, ease, grace, nature and softness.
The Masculine energy includes the pushing out in life. It’s drive, structure, logic, ambition, self, protection, talking, hunting, accomplishing and strength.
These two energies can be lived out in their pure form (what I listed above) or they can be lived out through the lens of fear. If the Feminine is lived out through fear, it can appear to be weak. If the Masculine is lived out through fear, it can appear to be rigid or hard.
When you break down the stories you have around these two energies, you can start to create your own harmony between them on a day-to-day basis and turn a fear-based energy into a love-based/pure one.
RP: Can you share with us what these energies look like in our day-to-day lives?
M: The Masculine is what provides the freedom for the Feminine to creatively express herself. To get even more specific, if you look at your own life, your Masculine is your calendar. It’s your routine and structure that tells you when you need to be where, and to do what. It’s the action you immediately take when you’re alerted. It’s your strength that arises when things need to get done.
The Feminine is a softer energy, so if we are looking at this in a practical sense, it can be the energy you carry with you throughout your day. It’s your ability to trust when things don’t go according to plan. It’s your creativity that arises with the sun. It’s the rest you take when your body craves it. It’s your intuition that asks for you to go left instead of right. She’s your nurturer and internal mother. She’s the soft voice that gives you permission to be vulnerable and cry to release.
RP: Can you give us some examples of imbalanced situations? (‘Cause we’ve all been there!)
M: One thing I speak a lot about is perfectionism. I work with many women who are masculine-minded, but through the lens of fear (what I was speaking of earlier). They live their lives with rigidity, order and a constant need for control. It’s ego-based, not love-based.
In this scenario, there’s typically very little room for the Feminine if at all. Many people whom are perfectionists struggle with letting go of control and trusting that everything is going to be okay. They might carry around sexual shame, so they can never truly embrace their bodies. They might be on a constant quest to have a six-pack and therefore fear having physical curves. They’re constantly over-thinking and worrying. There’s a major disharmony in this scenario because the Feminine is just as important as the Masculine.
Ask yourself what stories you have around the Feminine and the Masculine. Many people I meet fear the Feminine because they have it confused with “weakness” when in reality, it’s softness. I’ve also met many people who think the Masculine is egotistical or brutish, which is also a personal limiting belief. These false beliefs might be holding you back from embracing an aspect of yourself that needs to be experienced.
RP: From your experience, what are the most common energetic struggles in relationships you see?
M: Women who are afraid to give up control might find themselves having a difficult time trusting a man to lead. Personally speaking, I love when a man takes control of a situation, whether it’s finding directions or deciding to eat inside or outside. This, obviously, is a personal preference of mine, but I remember a time when I was not capable of allowing anyone to make a decision other than me. I HAD to have control.
This is difficult for most men because they have a primal desire to protect and lead. In relationships, there is a dance between the softness and strength where both parties need to be able to contribute in all ways. Sometimes I take control, but other times I give it up. Look at your own relationships and ask yourself, how is your dance going?
RP: How can we manage differing energies in a relationship?
M: Communication! Learn how to communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling when you’re giving up control or when you’re taking more of it.
RP: Let’s talk about these energies and sex. How can they play a factor?
M: If either of these energies are blocked in any individual, there will be aspects of their sexual expression that are blocked. The Feminine and the Masculine energies are crucial to express and explore regardless of what gender you have. Feeling radiant, free-spirited, intuitive, magnetic and sensitive isn’t just for females even if they are Feminine qualities. It’s important for males to experience and express this energy just as it’s important for women to explore the Masculine in sex which sometimes means making it more primal, being dominate or simply being verbal about your needs.
RP: What would you suggest in navigating stereotypes or judgment (self included) around feminine in men or masculine in women?
M: In regards to the Masculine, I’ve met many women who have had negative relationships with men and therefore they form stories around the Masculine based on those experiences. I worked with one client whose dad was assertive but also mean, so she associated assertiveness with meanness. Therefore, she never allowed herself to be assertive out of the fear that it was also mean (as a result she never stood up for herself). When she finally worked on this belief, she was able to stand up for her beliefs and make big moves in her career and personal life in a positive, healthy way.
In regards to the Feminine, I’ve heard things such as “crazy”, emotional, weak, pathetic and incapable of doing anything for yourself. This is so far from the Feminine. The Feminine is the nurturing voice that everyone craves to hear when he or she are in need. She is the goddess and lover. If you think that being feminine means to be a “typical crazy emotional woman” there are definitely some limiting beliefs that need to be shed.
When men finally allow themselves to be vulnerable and break the stereotype that men can’t cry, they experience a huge emotional shift, release and new understanding of themselves. When we speak up, shame shuts up. If you’re never speaking up about your vulnerabilities, that energy is going to be blocked and heavy. Releasing it isn’t a “weak” thing to do; it’s a brave thing to do. And I hope more men come to that realization so they can free themselves.
RP: What could be one thing our audience in relationships could do right now to improve the energetic quality or balance of their relationships?
M: Where in your life do you feel the most blocked?
If it’s with friendships, maybe you need more discernment, assertiveness or self-respect.
If it’s with food, maybe you need more intuition, self-love or freedom.
If it’s with sex, maybe you need to unravel some limiting beliefs, express your needs more or get back in touch with your own body.
Look at the places in your life you feel are out of balance and ask yourself what could be the key to greater freedom. Remember, the Feminine and the Masculine work together in a harmony. Some things you do will require more Feminine energy and others will require more Masculine energy; your life isn’t only one dimension, though, so make sure you’re not clinging on to only one of these energies. They are two parts that make a whole.
RP: Can you share any great resources with us and our audience to dive further into the Masculine and Feminine topic?
M: My podcast, Mind Body Musings, is a great place to start. I also really appreciate the work of Phillippe Lewis of Exquisite Love Coaching, Sara Avant Stover, Layla Martin and David Deida.
- To Be a Man
- The Way of the Superior Man
- The Red Tent
- The Book of She
- Wild and Feminine
- Come As You Are
- RP: Any thing else you’d like to add or share with us?
M: Of course! I’m going to be a releasing an in-depth course on how to step more into your Femininity, live a life of flow and let go of rigid rules. If you’re interested, sign up for my email list and receive my 4 Pillars of Femininity Audio Guide as a free gift.
I’m also hosting a women’s retreat in January in Boulder, CO centered on Surrender and Trust through the practice of AcroYoga. No experience is required. You will be notified of that event by signing up for my newsletter.
RP: Thank you for being with us and introducing this topic to our audience, we’re honoured to have you here on The Relationship Project!
I don’t know about you friends, but that was awesome and has definitely made us think about how we operate in our relationships. Our biggest take-aways are:
Learn which energy you tend to operate from and increase awareness around it.
Ask ourselves, are we blocked or imbalanced in any way?
Accept and love ourselves and know that we can be both!
Thank you Maddy for sharing your wisdom with us, we loved having you!
Check out her links below if you’d like to see more of what she’s up to!
Madelyn Moon is an author, podcast host, retreat leader and transformational life coach. She is a guiding force for women who want to stop over-thinking their lives away, and live with more trust, intuition and flow.
Maddy Moon was driven by masculine energy for most of her life, which led her down a dangerous path. Always striving to do more, be more and accomplish more, she found herself disconnected from her body with multiple disordered eating patterns, a restlessness and a lack of confidence. Maddy healed her heart, spirit, body and mind by stepping into her unique feminine power, surrendering to all that she could not control and openly sharing her journey along the way.
Maddy takes life by the reigns today by leading thousands of women across the world through their own transformational experiences via her podcast, Mind Body Musings, her website, MaddyMoon.com, and her global retreats. Her work and story has been featured in The Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, The Daily Mail, Vice, Greatist, Men’s Health, PEOPLE and ABC News Nightline. If you want to step into your femininity, feel sexy in your skin, practice the art of trust // surrender and truly enjoy your life, follow along Maddy’s journey for daily insight and inspiration.