Sorry to break it to you.
Well, actually, I’m not sorry.
Because if the common statement of “your wedding day will be the happiest day of your life” is true, then that’s really sad, and I’m glad I’m bursting that bubble.
Let me tell you why.
Let’s start with addressing the obvious.
Your wedding day is going to be one day of your entire life when, most likely, you’re going to be nervous, stressed, and probably uncomfortable. Chances are, you haven’t sleep well the night before and after some coffee to help with that, you’ll be extra jittery and peeing a lot. You’ll barely see your soon-to-be spouse outside of pictures, saying your vows, and that first dance because you’ve got many other things and people that are demanding your attention and congratulations. And to top it off, the day probably started incredibly early and will end even later, resulting in some serious running on fumes. The day goes by inexplicable fast and you’ll be lucky to remember 20 solid minutes from it. (Not to mention remembering to eat? Yeah, the hanger can set in, too)
I don’t know about you, but my happiest day is involves at least a lot of sleep, let alone adjustments to the rest of that list.
So friends, let’s cut right to it. Your wedding day will actually be great, amazing even, and if you’re clever enough, you’ll side step these hurdles and it might be up there on the happiest-of-days spectrum. (If that’s you, that’s amazing—seriously! And to accomplish this we recommend wedding planners–they saved our butts!)
But, let’s also look at another view.
(‘Cause we’re not through yet)
Often when people have a wedding, it’s to get married, meaning they are to embark on this amazing journey called marriage. And that, my friends, is a rollercoaster.
(An awesome one, by the way)
That means that, yes it will have “downs”, but it will most certainly have incredibly high “ups”. Some of the happiest in your life, in fact. Those moments in your marriage when you grow together, have amazing insights, triumphs, world travels, and heart exploding sex. You can bet your ass those days will be on your happiest-of-days spectrum, and–you guessed it–a few of them will most definitely surpass the wedding-day-happiest, if that’s in the first spot.
Now, enter other factors in your life. A.K.A: Children.
(Full disclaimer: We don’t have kids, but we have heard the following and apparently they’re telling the truth!)
They say, when you bring another life into this world, it’s most definitely on the happiest-of-days list. As are all of the firsts that come after, for that child. The child will inevitably drive you crazy and take you on a whole other roller coaster, but the “highs” on that one? Apparently, they are almost unmatchable. (But, don’t take our word for it! We’re kidless. But, I’m sure you see the point clearly here, right?)
If we still haven’t convinced you yet, let’s just go with straight facts.
The average life expectancy for men and women in North America is 81 years.
The average age of marriage in North America is 27 for women and 29 for men.
If this wedding day was the happiest day you’ll ever have in your life, then that leaves the other 50-ish years of your life looking pretty bleak.
Yeah, exactly. It’s actually the worst case scenario, if you ask me.
Besides being statistically shitty and totally, unrealistically sad, it paints a clear picture of the unlikelihood of that one day in our twenties beating out all the rest, right? It’s pretty clear by now that your wedding day won’t be the happiest day of your life. (Thank goodness, really!)
Now you’re probably wondering, “Why the hell are you telling me all of this and being such a downer?!”
Well, it’s for one simple reason.
We want to ease that pressure on you, my friends.
So often we hear, and we’ve experienced it ourselves, the pressure to make your wedding day the happiest day of your life. That you’ll only get one and it’s going to be the best day you’ll ever have.
That pressure is insane. (And profitable, but that’s a whole other article!)
What they don’t tell you is the unspoken other side of the coin. When they say that, they’re implying when your wedding day passes, you wake up the next morning and roll over to your new spouse, you can only think, “It’s only downhill from here?”
We’re telling you, fuck that.
(Sorry for the language, Mom)
You can bet your ass you can roll over and tell your spouse, “It only get’s better from here!”
‘Cause that’s more like it. (And clearly more accurate!)
Friends, we know that weddings are beautiful, amazing, and can definitely be up there on the happiest-of-days list. They’re so memorable, celebratory and a shit load of fun!
But don’t fall into the pressure of it taking the number one spot.
Don’t let that be your happiest of your life. Don’t fall prey to those ridiculous pressures to make your wedding day perfect, un-top-able, and the happiest day of your life. ‘Cause it’s clear it won’t be (and we hope now you see, it shouldn’t be).
So, if that day ends up indescribably amazing, or if it ends in disaster, know that you can roll over and say, “It only gets better from here.” And actually mean it, too.
And that, my friends, is exactly why your wedding day won’t be the happiest day of your life.