I don’t know about you, but being angry is so much easier then being hurt (am I right?!). It’s so much easier to fight, to be right, then it is to apologize and compromise. This quote found us the other day and couldn’t be more accurate. We’d like to think that we’re really starting to nail the “apologizing and removing ego thing”, but let us tell you, it wasn’t always that way.
A couple of years ago, we got into one of the biggest fights we’ve ever had. It was horrible, serious, emotional, and a little crazy (we’re talking actual-like-I’m-embarrassed-to-say-it-crazy). We hurled insults at each other and shoved each other away. No communicating and just straight confrontation. (That’s the PG version). The most ridiculous part is we don’t even remember what the fight was about.
Refusing to lean in and show up as our authentic selves, EGO took over. It was a full on war zone. It got to the point when we were both ready to RUN away from our relationship. (I think one of us actually tried to!)
As insanely scary and difficult as it was to force our egos aside, and calm down, we somehow managed. It was messy, we stumbled our way through it. I think we started communicating what we needed versus what we wanted. Then, really started listening and hearing each other. The ruffled feathers finally soothed.
Even though this happened years ago, we still struggle to set our egos aside today. However, the value of our relationship and our own growth as people, overrides ego. Apology is a practice. Let us tell you, you’re not alone–we’re figuring this out together too!
Shit is going to happen, all the time, let’s learn the art of apology, and really enjoy making up.